Americans Explain Why They Prefer Gas Over Electric Cars

“I think we’re rushing in before we even really know what electricity is.”

“My gas car can go forward and reverse. Can electric cars do that?”

“It’d be disrespectful to the troops not to use the gas they died for.”

“Gas has more protein.”

“The power strip I use for charging devices is already too crowded.”

“It’s in the Constitution.”

“I’m not entirely sure Texas’ electricity will be around much longer.”

“Torque. There’s either not enough or way too much. I forget.”

“We need a purpose to invade these Middle Eastern countries.”

“I’m waiting to skip electric and go straight to nuclear.”

“I’m not really sure why, but I regard it as an existential threat to my entire way of life.”

“What’s not to love about gas? Everybody loves gas! I’m actually married to gas and have six beautiful gas children! Buy more gas!”

“I’m not sure electric cars will blow up as cool in movies.”

“Talking about gas prices with people makes me feel like I’m a part of something.”

“I can’t kill myself by running an electric car in my garage.”

“Elec-tri-ci-ty? Sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me.”

“My job is 40 miles away and I don’t own an extension cord that long.”

“The toxic waste from the batteries is nice, but electric cars have a long way to go before they’ll match the destructive power of gas vehicles.”

“They aren’t reliable, like OPEC and the Saudi royal family.”

“You can’t huff electricity.”

“Here in New Jersey, they won’t let you plug in your own car.”

“Gas cars just fuck better.”

“If I have to use my car to go about my awful life every day, I can at least take the rest of the planet down with me.”

“I have an alliance with the Saudis.”

“I have been complaining about high gas prices for the past 35 years and wouldn’t really know what to do with myself if I stopped.”

“I’m worried we’ll deplete the Earth’s finite supply of electricity.”