Pangram Haiku

By Jon

Cute little trinkets
Each has a story to tell
My precious tchotchkes

True empathy is
To understand and accept
Other people's limits.

Local is boring.
Imported is exotic.
Xenomania

Earthly pleasures fade
Everything's ephemeral
Enjoy while you can.

Why do we wear clothes?
Comfort, beauty, protection.
Nudists disagree.

At the equator
You move at maximum speed
And weigh a whit less.

Don't whitewash the truth
Leave all the warts, the smudges,
The beautiful flaws.

Life can be boring
It's not always dramatic
Boring is okay.

Learning by reading
Is the important key skill
Of autodidacts.

Hiring managers:
The best question to ask is ...
Are you competent?

Life can be tricky
Volitional acts are rare
Indecisiveness.

The cachinnation
Reverberated throughout
The comedy club.

If you are feeling
Episodes of cheerlessness
Take time for more fun.

Bacteria's task
Undertaker for nature
Decompose the dead

No Republican
Is unsullied by Trump's stench
All have been defiled.

When there's a backlog
Of paperwork and duties
I get overwhelmed

With The Web we have
No lack of entertainment.
Always distracted.

A new word: Trumpish
It means narcissistic and
Ignominious

Artisan toolsmiths
Are delighted when their tools
Are used in new ways.

Kids are innocent.
Adorable even when
Throwing a tantrum.

Pursue happiness
Strive for a calm peaceful mind
A lifelong effort
There's no guarantee

A languid feeling
Is not helped by liquid bread.
Beer puts me to sleep.

Strengths and weaknesses
Two sides of a single coin
Patience impatience

Real estate tycoon
California Zamindar
I yam what I yam.

Essential workers
Have served us valiantly.
Pandemic heroes.

It is exquisite,
Rather extraordinary,
And quite excellent.

Ludwig 59-1
Allegretto vivace
Rhythmic obsession
Listen!

Yearnings are many
The few I choose to make real
Reveal who I am.

Flowers have evolved
As Nature's way of saying
'I'm here! Look at me!'

With warmer weather
Tantalizing young women
Bare more of their skin.

With warmer weather
Some women wear fewer clothes
Simply to stay cool.

'I hate quotations.'
Said Ralph Waldo Emerson
'Tell me what you know.'

Xyloglyphy is
Carving your dear sweetie's name
In an oak tree trunk.

Today's hatlessness
Is unphysiologic
Put bonnet on it.

A brief dalliance
Nourished a sweet fantasy
Was fruitless, of course.

Their work was top notch
Their small fee seemed a pittance.
I added extra.

Without wastebaskets
The detritus of our lives
Would grow without bound.

A neat clean kitchen
Beckons the creative cook
Yummy will happen

The job really sucked.
Feeling rather mutinous
I just up and quit.

Some seek opulence
As if they are queens and kings.
I choose simple things.

A virtuoso
Achieves mastery with ease
And a cheerful joy

Attachments can be
Difficult and painful yet
Pain helps us let go

Her countenance charmed
Her sharp intellect intrigued
Her figure seduced

Newspapers today
Are mostly read on our phones
Less to recycle

Umbrellas for rain
Paraguas en Español
But rain is my friend!

Becoming parents
Changes many things
A REVOLUTION!

Some parents model
Behavior that is not wise
Counterexample

Conceiving children
Is more fun than raising them
Parents will agree

Being white and male
Gives me a real advantage.
I try to share it.

Mushroom minutiae
Medusoid mycelium
Wasabi will help.

The tableaux of Chess
Pawns, Rooks, Knights, Bishops, Queen, King.
Ready for action.

Doing things promptly
Is a way to clear your mind
Otherwise ... trouble.

He blathered Big Lies
That incited a riot
Bring on the lawsuits!

Laziness can be
A virtue if it leads you
To efficiency.

As I grow older
The salience of cheap thrills
Gradually wanes.

Expect miracles
But be pragmatic and plan
Life can be tricky.

My room is scattered
With random papers and books
Like thoughts in my mind.

Bringing one's own book
To dump at a used book sale.
Playful knavery.

Friendly nice motel
Redolent of curry spice
Indian owner

When I'm the driver
I listen to passengers
So please do speak up.

They seemed really nice
I was fragile and confused
Bamboozled I was.

Tasty juiciness
Creamy yummy lusciousness
Nature's gift to us

I shared my passion
And got some quizzical looks.
It's still way way cool.

Intense events caused
Mixed confusing emotions.
I laughed and I cried.

I'm at Walden Pond
Buoyantly swimming naked.
Thoreau would approve.

Impostorism
Is a 5 syllable word
Tricky for haiku.

I'm rather famous.
I really don't deserve it.
Impostorism

Avoiding all news
For a week or two creates
A more peaceful life

Being punctual
Is not simply a virtue.
It is respectful.

Women in my life
Have not been uxorial.
I never sought such.

Hypotheses are
Educated guesses that
Are not yet proven.

Each season unique
Spring, summer, fall, and winter
Earth's oblique axis

Good enough haiku
Successfully submitted
On to the next word

Thirst keeps returning
Never fully satisfied
Must keep hydrating

Blåbær, blueberry,
Multebær, gooseberry, and
Jordbær, strawberry

Technical syntax
Exact and lucid to some but
Nebulous to most.

At the end of life
I hope my last words will be
'YES, it is complete.'

It really sucks when
Hard facts and reality
Don't match fantasy.

Foreigners: Welcome!
New ideas, open minds.
More the merrier.

Memorable events
Acute grief and intense joy
Unforgettable

Straight-edge and compass
Synthetic geometry
Euclid not Descartes

My inner thoughts are
A profound soliloquy.
When spoken they're trite.

Hardcore vegans eat
Homegrown vegetables in
Homemade earthenware

Pragmatic vegans
Purchase boxes of pizza
Piled high with veggies.

Wipers and washers
Eyelids and lachrymal glands
Help me see clearly

Music! Beethoven.
Last piano sonata.
Profound and sublime.

Futuristic thoughts
Are easily invented.
Will they work today?

Contentedness and
Acceptance can lead you to
Less disquietude

Gordian knots
Have a high knottiness quotient
They can't be untied

Music must have both
Harmony and dissonance
To be beautiful.

You're youthful if you're
Flexible, spontaneous,
Open, forgiving.

The collateral
For the million dollar loan.
Thoroughly vetted.

Juggling two jobs or
A jaguar jugular jab
Is not jocular.

To save the planet
All must make some sacrifice.
What are you doing?

Some times I'm wistful.
And some times I'm embarrassed.
Mostly I'm content.

Being bounteous
Consists not just in having
But not wanting, too

To learn a language
Immersion is a good way.
In the bed is best.

It's amazing how
Far you can walk if you just
Start and continue.

When saying something
scandalous, shitty, or sad
Use euphemisms.

Elimination
Is frequently much better
Than mitigation

Reviewing my life
Hindsight shows things I regret
Instead I just smile

Being generous
Is one of the great pleasures
Of being wealthy.

Real estate tycoon
A million dollars in debt
Never envisioned

A signature with
High illegibility
Signifies secrets.

Gametic magic
One of nature's mysteries like
Magnetic magic

Coughs that are phlegmy
Would sound cheerful and friendly
If they were flemmy.

A brilliant design
500 million years old
Chambered Nautilus

When I put my hands
In warm water spumescence
Dishwashing is fun.

Human falsetto
Voices a very unique sound.
Violins as well!

What are mutations?
Mistakes? Or experiments
To find a better way.
Nature is at play.

While I am sleeping
I worry about spelling
Of, right, and rhythm.

Did man once live on
Bread alone? Or beer alone?
Zymolysis, Yay!

If you embroider
And embellish it too much
You will ruin it

Necessity is
The mother of invention
Who is the father?

With the idiot gone
I am sanguine and hopeful.
Sanity restored.

Exhales from my nose
Made his auriculae twitch.
My dear loving cat.

Chinese children read
Chinese writing that we can't
Hope to decipher

At the Capitol
Protecting democracy
Bivouacking soldiers

With the lambent light
Setting the romantic mood
She charmed my pants off.

Out with the old and
In with the new is the way
Of obsolescence.

The length of life was
The centenarian's goal.
Was it also deep?

All book lovers say
Bibliomania may
Cause great disarray

Early humans made
Obsidian arrowheads
They must have been pleased.

Ecclesiastic
Stalactites are elastic
And celestial.

I'm not too busy.
My calendar is open.
I like it that way.

Supreme Court justice
Ms Amy Coney Barrett
Please be fair to all.

Why do stars twinkle?
Twinkling is not something they do
Little stars just are.

They aren't everywhere.
Not truly ubiquitous.
Just what you desire

For my memorial
A yummy vegan banquet.
Good for all creatures.

A double rainbow
Never ceases to amaze.
Look at that! Gorgeous!

I'm not Rep or Dem
Because I think for myself.
Mugwumpism, yes!

Crimson's more than red.
Birds, flowers, chili peppers.
A color with style.

Fortuitously
I can't get a round tuit
Because I'm lazy.

Some academics
Are so focused on details
That they miss the joy.

The most zealous ones
Are often recent converts.
Need validation.

Please elaborate.
But not too elaborate.
I don't have much time.

A vaccination
Had better save the nation
From that damn virus.

Abundance sounds good
But often devolves into
It's never enough.

I met someone new!
They're somewhat obsequious.
Charming, but ... Red Flag!

Eat a popsicle
On your bicycle and you'll
Zip home in a flash.

Kindredness is an
Awkward word to say simply
We're all one family.

Adherence to rules
Is a great comfort to some.
They have many rules.

Adherence to rules?
Yes. Good. But Beethoven asked
How to best break them?!

When our lives become
Kafkaesque what may help is
Taking a deep breath.

Northern zephyrs bring
Exotic tales of heroes
From far away lands.

Incandescence is
Not just physics. Some people
Emit love and kindness.

We abbreviate
To save time and space and breath
But what do we lose?

Th Hbrw lngg
T bbrvt th wrds
Vwls r rmvd

The xerotic spot
On my testicle is both
Dry and erotic.

When bicycling
Yielding is indicated.
Iron monsters. Yikes!

It's Ridiculous.
Outrageous. Uproarious.
And Preposterous.

Telescopes aid sight
Computers help memory
Dear friends enhance life

You can't always get
What you think you really want.
Negotiation.

Patience. Impatience.
Both can be a true virtue.
Situational.

I took a journey.
Confusion to poverty.
I learned many things

Carnivals are fun!
Junk food and upside down rides.
Regurgitation

What to eat? How much?
Quality? and Quantity?
You are what you eat.

Lights on bike helmet
Lights on wheels, Lights front and rear.
I am luminous.

At my father's grave
A sudden revelation
He is underground!

Web Tutorials
A quick way to learn new things.
Pre web - libraries?

I can't read a map.
I've lost orientation.
That damn GPS.

I made pumpkin pie
Not with canned pumpkin purée
But from real pumpkins!

A fleeting fragrance
Evokes childhood memories
Hidden deep within.

Adjacent numbers
Odd Even Odd Even Odd
Like friendly neighbors.

I was ten years old.
I made a toothpick sculpture.
I was very proud.

If all mysteries
Were revealed, solved, and case closed
Life would be boring.

Having left their home
Immigrants can feel homesick.
Alienation

Immigrants can bring
Fresh perspective, new approach.
We're ALL 'from' somewhere.

On the stage of Life
Are we many characters
Or only our Self?

Our literature:
A connection to the past
And to the future

Phantoms are simply
People who you knew but now
Just live in your mind

Rolling snake eyes twice
Corona virus gambling
255k dead

Analytical
Is a five syllable word.
Tricky for haiku

How to celebrate?
Cheer, raise arms, high fives, pump fists,
Big hugs, eat and drink.

It's not possible.
I haven't tried it yet but
It's not possible

Interference and
Diffraction are properties
Of light I don't grok.

When we poop and flush
Where does our excrement go?
There is no 'away'.

My priorities
Define who I am and what
I want to become

If changing your mind
Is tricky for you to do.
You have no courage.

Coming and going
Arrival and departure
Hello and goodbye

Spectators won't learn.
Must be a participant.
It's also more fun!

Volleyball's challenge:
Only 3 hits - dig set spike.
Keep it in the air!

Tricky decisions
Are best made with a coin flip
In the air you'll know.

Insightful haiku
Delighted her so. They were
Highlighted in orange.

Binary digits
Values of red, green, and blue
Magic photograph

Brave entrepreneurs
Have ideas and take risks
To make life better.

My friend's a punster.
Always making clever quips.
I rarely feel heard.

Humans at the top
Hierarchy of creatures
Let's be kind to all.

Healthcare is OUR job.
Some help from medical pros
Mostly it's up to US.

Anne of Green Gables:
Using imagination
Life is less tragic.

Two sides of one coin:
Talents, virtues, beauties, charms.
Liabilities.

Memorial service
An hour to Remember
Continues for years

Working together.
Geological scholars.
It is collegial.

A Wyomingite
Is Senate represented
More than a Texan.

Experience is
Making many mistakes and
Remembering them.

A teacher's main aim:
Ignite curiosity.
Motivate students.

We are not machines.
We are biological.
Birth, growth, decay, death.

Thank you very much.
You are very generous.
Appreciated!

When bad things happen
There's a lame futile response:
It's your destiny.

When good things happen
There's a lame futile response:
It's your destiny.

Darwin was perplexed.
How to show evolution?
Madagascar helped.

Attentiveness is
An essential element
Of loving kindness.

Attentiveness is
Um ... wait what? ... yesterday I ...
I will ... Who? Maybe.

Robots everywhere
Automation does it all
Life becomes artless.

TI-1200 [First calculator]
Cheap, hand held, fast and ... it's right!
The slide rule is dead.

When Life gets intense
The daily need for chocolate
Is greatly increased.

Old cars and old friends
Deserve careful attention
Maintenance takes love.

Students are human
Sometimes they make bad mistakes
Suspension from school.

Our temperature
Always monitored, controlled
Homeostasis

Each day Something new
Every month something Brand new
Variety! Woo!

We have consciousness
But it evolved long before
Homo Sapiens.

Enchantments and Loves.
Delightful delusions
That enrich my life.

Sunglasses shade eyes
From bright light but they also
Conceal lying eyes.

Last glacier melted
May 8, 2036
Anthropogenic

This laboratory
Does experiments with new
Pronunciations

Lab Rah Tory
La Bore a Tree
La Bore a Tory
Labor Attery?
La Bore Attery?
Labor a Tory?
Labor a Tree?
Lab Rah Tree?
Labe Rah Tory?
Labe Rah Tree?

I play piano
And I practice on and off
There is regression

Nature's mystery
Always there but hard to see
Electricity

Climbing a mountain
Is quite a challenge but it
Makes the view worthwhile.

Having a written
Personal constitution
Would keep me on track.

Growing tomatoes.
Would be easier if they
Were irrigated.

In relationships
We give, get, ask, listen, love.
We accommodate.

Fucking is great fun
But it does lead to unchecked
Population growth.

Monitoring men
Motoring in big bad trucks
Is tough - NOT not grim.

Artificial dyes,
Intelligence, and sweeteners.
They're pure but lack love.

When we're in a crowd
We're mostly anonymous
Yet we're all family.

As I've grown older
There has been a lightening
Life gets cheerier

Philosophy can
Help us live our true values.
Eat vegan? Easy!

A sapphire gem is
Cool energy from deep down
Maybe magic too.

For this I need thee.
For that thou need me. Thus we
Live dependently.

Trump's idiotic.
We must affirm that dissent
Is patriotic.

How does a turtle
See flies from under water?
It's easy. Diffract.

Trump Hotels were once
Grand places. Now they're places
To be boycotted.

Everybody knows
Bogeymen pick big boogers
From their biggy nose

Trump's epiphany
Transformed him and he's now truly
Humbled and sorry.
.
.
.
Just kidding 😜
Please forgive my fanciful galumphing.

P 1 and P 2
P n then P n + 1
Proved by induction

Induction cooking
Seems to heat pans magically
But it's just physics

Talus tibias
Dorsiflexion fibulas
Anklebone stanzas

Paintball is a game.
You hunt down and kill your friends.
It's jolly great fun!

Our president is
Creating a fascist state
Subverting democracy
Trusting an adversary
Discounting a pandemic
Sending troops to squash protests
Taking children from parents
Spewing stupid silly lies
Suggesting bleach injections
Paying porn stars for silence
Extorting foreign leaders
Blathering batty bullshit
Encouraging racist hate
Holding Bible upside down
Perverting the rule of law
Misogynistic bully
Enabled by McConnell
Cheered by a blind loyal base
Not Fanciful. Fact.

It's time for action
To reclaim Democracy
All can do SOMEthing.

Modular design
Is key to good programming
Hackers are exempt

Cats are SO quiet
Good for catching prey, and yet
He audibly snores

When fruit trees grow tall
Only way to get them all
Is with a ... windfall.

Is it safe to drink?
Is the water potable?
Danger! Don't imbibe!
or
Yes. Chug. Slurp. Sip. Quaff.

Forty teenagers
Finally free of dumb parents.
A dormitory.

Twallig leck shun ooze?
Umpty stoopish Trumph galumph
Bedder Biden Yay!

What's an encampment?
Is it a group of camp sites?
See dictionary.

Molière and Sunshine
Came to us by adoption
Our fine feline friends

Meals are sometimes planned
But mostly meals are merely
Fickle foraging

I'm unpopular 😞
But my few friends are true and dear 😍
So I have no fear 😱
And I shed no tear. 😢
Shall we have a beer? 🍺

Deep fried Oreos
Are not simply caloric
They're calorific.